“We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over.”
I was standing in the fitting room of Old Navy, staring at the wall and twirling the key around my finger because that was the most fun thing about my job. You have to walk past the fitting room to get to the bathroom, and upon leaving the bathroom, someone stopped and talked to me. He had a name tag on and was so tiny I thought he was a new employee, so I started talking about how much I don’t like my job and I only work 4 hours a week and I just kept complaining. He started saying things like “Well you should do the best you can while you are here” and “Why don’t you do x,y,z this way?” and I realized this wasn’t a new employee. He was making me answer these questions and I got really nervous because I was slowly realizing this was my new manager and I had not made such a great first impression! Maybe if he introduced himself I wouldn’t have made myself look so foolish, but I would later learn that sometimes he’s an airhead and just didn’t think to say that he was the new cat in town... (or was it his plan all along?)
For the first year I knew him, I didn’t like working with him at all. He was very critical and always on our backs about everything. Of course he wasn’t like that
all the time, but people only noticed the super strict side of him. I’m sure I said some not-so-nice things about him behind his back, as did other coworkers. This was my first job and I had a lot of growing up to do.
Something happened one day after about a year working together. We were working together and I noticed something different about him. He seemed a little down. He wasn’t his normal self. He’s the kind of person who wears every emotion on his sleeve, and I’m very sensitive to other people’s emotions. I don’t think many other people noticed he was acting different, but I definitely did. I went into the office one day to get something and his head was down on the desk... I don’t know if he was crying or just really sad or exhausted. He left work for a week and came back, still different. He wasn’t being super strict and correcting every minuscule thing I did. I started talking to him a little more, at work and a little on facebook. I started to root this compassion for him because I wanted him to feel better. As strict of a boss he was, he was a human being and for the first time I was seeing a vulnerable side of him and I wanted to get to know that side better.
He reminded me of myself pre-Jesus... and after as well (i’m not perfect, obviously, therefore I still struggle with these things.) Insecure, sad and can’t explain why, isolating... things of that nature. My compassion kept growing. I run to God when I start feeling that way and it’s like the ultimate medicine. I wanted/want to get to know more of what that’s all about because I can relate so much, and I want him to know how REAL God is, and to know he has someone to give all that pain to instead of trying to crush it on his own.
Every once in awhile on a slow night we would have conversations and he seemed happier. He relaxed a little with his strictness and over time he was more fun to be around. It got to the point where I enjoyed working with him over any other manager. There were countless times that he made me laugh so hard I was crying! He was still my boss, and he still had to have talks with me if I wasn’t doing the best job...but it was an encouragement instead of a scolding, a two-sided conversation as opposed to a one-sided conversation. Things were different, in a good way, and I started loving my crappy part time job. I realize now that as much as I wanted to be the one to help him, give him advice, and make him see things differently... he was actually doing more good for me than I was for him. But that’s another topic altogether.
A lot of the other associates still talked badly about him for awhile, but I started defending him and telling them they just need to get to know him better because he’s not this mean person they think he is. I don’t know why he was ever that way, and I still don’t know what happened that made him so sad for that period of time, but he somehow became the most fun, smiley, happiest little dude I’ve ever met. Over the next couple of years, he still had moments, and it was in those moments we grew closer. It took awhile for everyone else to come around, but once they did, I think it boosted his self esteem to know that everyone respected and liked him. I looked forward to every shift we had together. Some of my coworkers became friends, and we became our little Old Navy family.
Our store was getting ready to move to the mall, and I remember helping him move fixtures and getting things packed up, and he told me he might be getting deployed (yes he’s in the Navy and works at Old Navy) within the year. I was shocked to hear this, because I had a connection with him by this point and I didn’t know if I would want to stay without him. I let it go for awhile, until the day he told me he was
actually leaving for a YEAR. We spent the next few months talking about the big move and him leaving and who was going to replace him. We (as a store) took the time we had together and made the best memories we could. Those last few months were really special. I started to feel like we were actually friends, not just coworkers. We had so many moments where we would laugh, and his laugh is so contagious that it makes a simple joke absolutely hilarious.
March came faster than any of us had imagined. I scrambled to make his sendoff as good as possible...but there is really nothing I could have done to thank him for how much I’ve grown as a person and as a lovely old navy employee because of him. I didn’t realize until after he left what an amazing manager and friend he is. He’s one of those people that once they’ve touched your life, they don’t really go away. He probably doesn’t even remotely feel half the things I do, but that’s because he’s is loved by so many, and I’ve got plenty of room in my life for a new friend. When he left I wanted to stay in touch with him because now that he wasn’t my boss we could actually be real friends...talk on the phone, text, facebook, you know. I’ve loved getting to talk to him so much while he is in Africa, but it’s obviously different talking on the phone and on facebook. I don’t know what will come of our friendship when he comes home... but I believe that he knows how deeply he is cared for and he can do whatever he wants with that information.
Sometimes I’ll bring him up in conversation with another friend, and they’ll look at me strange like I’m in a relationship or something... and it’s really hard to explain. I obviously don’t have those types of feelings, though whoever he ends up with is going to be insanely blessed. I have grown to just genuinely care about him and love him for all that he is...his faults, his laugh and that look he gives when he’s really excited. It’s pure and just makes me smile...and who doesn’t want to be around someone that makes them smile?
:) :) :)
"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."
