By this time in my life I've heard over thousands of different phobias. Some people are afraid of spiders, some snakes, others...cookies? Yes, it's true, there's a scientifically named phobia for just about anything that makes a person freak. A phobia can be defined as an intense, irrational fear of an object or situation (yes I did pay attention in psychology!) Only until recently did I realize I fall victim to one specific phobia- Apiphobia (yes, I googled it just now.) It's a seriously ridiculous fear of bees.
I have never understood why people have certian phobias. I've seen many tv shows that display erratic, nonsensical freak outs from guests who get exposed to the thing that makes them so afraid. I always thought it was silly for them to react that way, or that they were just putting on a show for the camera.
As I research phobias more I'm realizing that most phobias are not a joke, I certainly know my fear of bees is no joke. I'm sitting at my laptop now trying to distract myself from the little creature sleazin' around my ceiling. Yes, I am up at 1am when I need to be sleeping because I will not let myself sleep in the same room as this horrible wasp. Even seeing the words makes me cringe. Every five to ten seconds I need to look behind me where I saw it last to see if it returned. I have a spindle from my porch and a bottle of bleach ready to attack. Every little sensation I feel on my skin has me shuttering in fear, every piece of fiber under my foot sets my heart racing thinking it's the terror. I truly hate feeling like this over a stupid bee, but I suppose the most logical reasoning I have is that I think it's wrong that I am terrified to be in my own room, MY room. I'm very territorial about my space and believe that when I want to be alone, I REALLY want to be completely alone. Knowing there's something in the room that could hurt me during sleep just scares the living daylights out of me. I don't know how I'm going to cope with this every summer for the rest of my life...I'm just praying that along with the house repairs a new window can be installed in my room, because I've truly had more than enough of being terrified.
I truly empathize with anyone who has a phobia. I know it isn't a joke, and I'm starting to think I need to take care of the problem more theraputically.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Summer Blahs
So here it is. June 20th, 2010. It's day two of my "summer blah" which means the symptoms are irratibility, slight headache, and intense lack of patience. Yes, summer blah is a valid disease, in my world, and these days it seems as though I'm the only victim.
Most people look forward to summer all year long...they trudge through school work and business and extra calories along with everything else the winter months offer, so that by June they're free to enjoy the laziness and excitement of summer! While I'll admit I do get very excited about summer, a huge part of me dreads it. All my life I've never once had a summer where most of the days were filled with exciting things and fun adventures. I can't remember ever going on a real vacation with the family, and that will never happen, nor can I remember going back to school and being able to say I had an eventful summer.
Now I know I may be getting a little overdramatic, but this is just how I feel. It's two-ish months of sitting around my house watching the clock change numbers. It's watching so many movies in one day I forget what plots belonged to which movie (which is a problem!) These days especially I have acquired an almost nonexistant tolerance of boredom. If I have to stay locked up in the house for more than two days without doing anything, I can get the most extreme levels of the symptoms mentioned above. It's the closest thing to pure torture I've ever experienced.
I know some may look at this and laugh at how dramatic I'm being, but honestly who wouldn't go crazy being locked up by themselves with nothing fun or exciting to do...for consecutive summers in a row? And NO, doing dishes or washing the floor are not good examples of things to do because I already do those all the time and they are worse than being stagnant in my chair in my room.
I'm just praying a lot that God opens up opportunities for me to have a productive and fun summer this time around. I don't want it to be like all the others... this is a time for hitting the beach, hanging with friends every day, going to amusement parks and creating beautiful memories with the ones whom we are closest to. I really don't want to miss any of that this summer. So I hope my close friends can help me get rid of that nasty "Summer Blah" disease!
:)
Most people look forward to summer all year long...they trudge through school work and business and extra calories along with everything else the winter months offer, so that by June they're free to enjoy the laziness and excitement of summer! While I'll admit I do get very excited about summer, a huge part of me dreads it. All my life I've never once had a summer where most of the days were filled with exciting things and fun adventures. I can't remember ever going on a real vacation with the family, and that will never happen, nor can I remember going back to school and being able to say I had an eventful summer.
Now I know I may be getting a little overdramatic, but this is just how I feel. It's two-ish months of sitting around my house watching the clock change numbers. It's watching so many movies in one day I forget what plots belonged to which movie (which is a problem!) These days especially I have acquired an almost nonexistant tolerance of boredom. If I have to stay locked up in the house for more than two days without doing anything, I can get the most extreme levels of the symptoms mentioned above. It's the closest thing to pure torture I've ever experienced.
I know some may look at this and laugh at how dramatic I'm being, but honestly who wouldn't go crazy being locked up by themselves with nothing fun or exciting to do...for consecutive summers in a row? And NO, doing dishes or washing the floor are not good examples of things to do because I already do those all the time and they are worse than being stagnant in my chair in my room.
I'm just praying a lot that God opens up opportunities for me to have a productive and fun summer this time around. I don't want it to be like all the others... this is a time for hitting the beach, hanging with friends every day, going to amusement parks and creating beautiful memories with the ones whom we are closest to. I really don't want to miss any of that this summer. So I hope my close friends can help me get rid of that nasty "Summer Blah" disease!
:)
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